Anger Management

Kayla may just be 16 going on 17 months but I am almost certain we've hit the "Terrible Twos."

As Dr Greene of drgreen.com aptly explains it,
"Newborns and infants are quite happy as long as their basic physical needs are met. Children in the developmental stage known as the "Terrible Twos," or "First Adolescence," become aware of the choices available to them and as a result become angry or frustrated when they are powerless over those choices. The result is often 'Temper Tantrums' or what I like to call 'Emotional Storms.'"

Make that "Emotional Typhoons." This past week has been extremely trying with meltdown after meltdown over the most innocuous of things -- Daddy walking out of the room, Mommy saying she needs a diaper change. At times, at the mere mention of the word "No," she breaks out her deafening screams and promptly dissolves into tears.

We've tried everything to calm her down--from hugging tightly and telling her everything's okay to asking her to "use her words" and "baby voice." But nothing's working really very well. She knows what she wants and she's determined to get it. Good for her, but not so pleasant for us. Cry and scream as she might, we've done our darndest best not to give in and I think we deserve a pat on our back for standing our ground (you'll understand when you witness firsthand how she screams, yells and cries). Hopefully, Kayla will realize soon enough that screaming isn't the solution or the shortcut to getting attention or whatever it is she needs. She may be strong-willed, but so are we. :)

Again from Dr Greene,
"Whatever you do, if your child had a temper tantrum to try to get something, don't give it to him, even if you would have ordinarily done so. Giving in to tantrums is what spoils a child. Giving in is the easiest, quickest solution in the short run, but it damages your child, prolongs this phase, and ultimately creates far more discomfort for you. Choosing your child's long-term gain over such dramatic short-term relief is part of what makes properly handling temper tantrums so heroic.

Instead you might say, "Sorry, I would love to give you what you want, but because you had a temper tantrum, I can't right now. Next time, let's do that." Stand by your child during this difficult time for both of you. When you feel yourself getting tense, again say to yourself: temper tantrums are a beautiful, albeit painful, part of growing up, so take a deep breath, relax, and remember, "Dr. Greene thinks you are beautiful, courageous, and worthy of high praise!"