What else am I missing?

Like many things these days, this slipped my mind a couple of blog posts ago. Kayla was so tired that she fell asleep while eating. It's hard to put into words how adorable and utterly ridiculous she looked as she nodded off to sleep, strapped to her high chair, a bib round her neck, with a mouth full of what I believe, was peas and brown rice (from the supermarket shelves, of course - I haven't reached that level of domestic goddess-hood). It was to me one of those priceless parenthood moments that will forever be engraved and live to be retold over and over and over again.

Just how many of these precious moments have I missed out in the past months? And how many more will evade me? It's become clear as crystal to me that I can't have it all - a career, time with my daughter and husband, and stories to tell when Kayla asks, "What kind of baby was I?"

From the time I get home from work (usually around 5.30pm, barring bad traffic) to the time Kayla goes to bed (typically around 8pm, sometimes earlier), we have less than three hours together. And most of that's spent feeding her, giving her a bath, and getting her ready for nitie nite. She's usually too pooped out to sit through a storybook that I'm dying to read her, and too tired to do anything really, even play. I know it's all about quality time, but the only time I seem to have with her are weekends, which are increasing filled with errands and engagements. Where does one draw the line? How does one find the balance?

Somedays, I feel she's growing so fast that I don't really know her anymore. She's gone from the wee one I cradled in my arms to my little chunky monkey who's outgrown mommy's short torso. Has it come to a point where I've stretched myself so thin that's it's become a lose-lose situation - for me, and for her? I'm stressed out at work, trying to accomplish more in less time. By the time I get home, my baby's too tired to get to know me. Is there any point in trying to "have it all" when at the end of the day, no one's completely satisfied?

I'm trying my best to answer these questions. Perhaps the answer's right in front of me, but I'm choosing not to see it. And why?